On A Mission...

The last time I was here I was this whole other person and boy, was it a long time ago. I never realised that this distance that I unknowingly kept building between me and so many other things I enjoy doing (writing here being one of them) would eventually turn me  into this totally different person I  have become today. I never realised that the numerous events that happened in the past year and a half, the events that kept me so busy would take the person I like being, away from me and replace it with this boring person I have become today. It's like revisiting the worst phase of my life. 

High school was not a good phase, obviously (little did I know that spiral life-cycles are a real thing and not just something to study about in software engineering). So when it was time for college I made up my mind about how I was not going to let the bad time continue. I was filled with positivity and determination to make a name for my self and succeeded too, for the most part, until the fourth year.  The final year of my college life was full of drama. I am not going into the specifics of course, but a lot happened. The first three years of college was great. I was doing academically well, I made friends I could bank on, I did everything that I was good at and everybody was happy. Then came the last year of my college life and that's where I screwed up. A lot of life changing, important things did happen but unfortunately the wrong things weighed down the importance of all the good things. I focused so much on the wrong stuff that I subconsciously started building a negative aura around me and with the negativity I also built a wall, snuggled into a shell and blocked my brain from working altogether. So now, when it matters the most I am this girl with low self confidence, no presence of mind with least bit of shrewdness. The exact opposite of who I used to be. 

I know what you are thinking. I know I am being way too hard on myself. I know there are a lot of people going through a lot worse, but these are the little things that forms the crux of problems in my life. You might find it silly but they matter to to me. I need to be some things and not being them bothers me. To accept the fact that I am no good anymore took me so long. To analyse what went wrong took me so long. To figure out that I have lost my true self took me so long. This is not me sharing my thoughts with you. This is me sharing my thoughts with myself (which is probably why you have'nt understood most of what's written here). I have learnt from my mistakes. But I need to be me to not make those mistakes again, I need break the shell I have built around myself, I need to gain my confidence back, I need to restart my brain (which is in hibernation). I am in a new place now, around new people, starting a new phase and the old me would have been thrilled but the new me barely knows how she feels. Nobody here thinks I am bad. Nobody here thinks I am good. Nobody here knows me (the real me) because I have'nt made the effort to bare myself.  But then I am sure the people who do know me don't feel I am any different because there is no change visibly. My struggle is internal. I need to be good enough just for me. I feel a person can only perform and be truly happy if she knows herself and that is what my mission is. I need to rediscover myself and need to do it soon. Until then I won't be happy or unhappy, I'd just be living without actually living. So, I hope to return soon and when I do, you would have way more interesting things to read about here. 

Wish me luck,

Cheers!

State Of Journalism

Engineering did not happen by chance,but there was a point after highschool when I seriously considered journalism.So my life in highschool was like any other average typical indian student,someone who used to go to coaching classes( that train you for JEE) after school,come back home just in time for dinner in the sweaty uniform that I'd been wearing the whole day,study a bit-again- and fall asleep right there on the study table.This was pretty much how life was in those two years with some free time occasionally.So did i make it to an IIT? Nah .Despite such rigorous training i couldn't even crack the mains exam.It was only after having appeared for all these entrance exams(and while i was waiting for the results),did I get the time to actually think of who I really wanted to become.What did I possibly wanna do for rest of my life that would help me make money and remain happy? The answer was Journalism.Not that I was'nt interested in engineering but I was just having such a hard time back then that I just could'nt help but catch the easiest way out and writing,anchoring these were the things i loved and still do but obviously it was just a phase because i eventually went on to pursue engineering(and would become one in a few months,hopefully!) although sometimes I just sit back and think of how my life would have been if I had actually let that idea grow.Today was one such day.

I was watching news with my family at dinner and there were two things being discussed in most channels,the ban on 500 and 1000 rupee notes and the US election.It was disgusting to watch all the jabber and arguments and high-pitched shouting.This level of journalism seriously makes me sad.It is times like these that makes me think of how happy I should be that I am not a part of a media that has stooped this low.I mean almost every news channel has lost all sense.I used to think media reports the current affairs of the world.That it is called the media because it is a medium of conveying news.But what I see these days is just a bunch of people (who call themselves journalists) stating opinions,more like forcing opinions.I am not against opinions being stated.I am all for democracy and everything but is it not the job of a journalist to state 'facts'?Like if you see a queue outside some bank say that there is a queue.Like if you see protesters protesting against the president elect of the US say just that.Don't draw conclusions!Don't these people realize that they have the power to influence a whole nation?Actually i think they do!I used to think paid media was an unusual thing that happens rarely but now almost every channel appears to be sold out.Atleast to me.The media according to my understanding is supposed to be neutral, reporting various events happening across the globe.The good,the bad,the important,the not-so-important,the known,the unknown.It is up to the people on how they view the news and plus you do have discussions and debates where opinions can be stated!But then even the discussions and debates appear like a competition testing panelists' patience and ability to shout out loud.It is just that media has just become so biased and money minded that faking and making up news has become an everyday routine and I just could 'nt take it any longer.

To be honest it is these very times that also make me think of how i should have taken up journalism.I don't know if i would have made a good journalist,but I definitely would not have been sold out.I probably would not have made a huge difference to the current scenario but atleast it would have been a start.I think this field needs youth now enough of these old biased people.Youth that could change the old ways.Youth that has already begun to change the old ways.I know it would happen soon and when it does I would come back right here to speak about how happy it makes me. :)

Our funny obsession with accents

I was dawdling on the internet like always and I came across this link to an article.Once.Once again.Again and again.So i opened it just to see what all the fuss was about.Turns out Priyanka Chopra,the global star and Tanmay Bhatt,the AIB guy had a friendly exchange of tweets on some joke,cracked by the latter on the former obviously,which pissed some of priyanka's fans although the said lady was completely okay with it.What was the joke about? Her accent.So that got me thinking, what is it with us and english accents?
    I mean seriously it is everywhere.At every corner of every city these days, you'll find a set of people trying to speak english in a british or an american accent and then there is another set of people mocking them for trying.There are some who do manage to pull it off,some who have actually been abroad,at least for a few years,and can't help but speak that way but there are people who are always there to tease them for it.Sometimes people also get teased for having an accent other than british or american or Indian and so the accent gets termed as fake in general.Honestly it has always puzzled me.
    That character, Raj koothrapalli,from the big bang theory,has an indian accent.Sure, he overdoes it sometimes but frankly it is not far from a normal indian one but we mock it anyways.Priyanka Chopra in quantico does an american accent and we made fun of that too.I know neither of those accents were perfect but i don't see what is wrong in trying! It is not just us "indians" being obsessed with accents but that's a whole other issue and this is me talking about us.Why does it have to get personal? If someone can pull off an accent of a different kind good for them.People argue as to why others feel the need to imitate the western countries.I say come on it is just an accent!We have been imitating others ever since we were born!That's how we learn and grow.The same theory can be applied here too.Now I know this is a little far-fetched but i think Darwin's theory is also applicable here.Kinda.I mean adaptation,survival of the fittest.If some one feels he or she can do better with an accent let them.We actually get defensive of our accent which is funny because it is not like English was originated in India or anything.If you come to think of it,it was brought in by the British right?Its not like its a desi language that is getting westernized or something.It is a videshi language that got a desi touch.There is no cultural or traditional loss of any kind in adapting other accents.What have we got to lose?I am not asking everyone to imitate other accents but don't make fun of those who do.They are only trying to groom themselves which is wrong in no way.It is a actually a shame that,us, a generation that considers itself broad-minded and outspoken can act so idiotic at  times.There is a huge difference between stating an opinion and being outrageously stupid. I think people should accept english being spoken in any accent in india or abroad,by indians or by foreigners as long as the language is understood.Those who get teased should not get affected by it at all because Mockery is the result of a poverty of wit after all.
Oh and I almost forgot :D -

Hindu Epics- Myth or real?

I keep wondering about so many things when i am free,much to my parents' irritation because obviously thinking is the brain's job and the rest of my body just sits idle,so I look like a lazy person who has got nothing to do.How do I tell my parents that while my body might appear idle my brain is actually running at a really high speed? True story right?I know!

Anyways, recently I've been thinking more and more about our hindu epics,Mahabharata and Ramayan ,thanks to the many attempts of various creative minds that try to recreate these stories on television.The point is these are all incredible stories with some great lessons and morals,sure,but did they actually happen? Did sage Valmiki really write ramayan? Did Maharishi Ved Vyasa actually witness Mahabharata? A part of me knew it's just not possible for anybody to imagine and write a story with such accuracy(Topology,Locations,Astronomy almost every possible thing has been mentioned in both the epics) and that part was totally willing to believe in the occurrence of these epics.But the logical part of me could' nt believe in the very existence of pandavas and events occurred in a major part of mahabharata,about Hanuman carrying a mountain and flying,Ravan having 10 heads and the list continues.

So i did a bit of research.I googled,visited various sites,saw quite a many videos and people's views.Boy did i find some mind blowing stuff.Although there was not much i could find about ramayana there was loads of stuff about mahabharata.So many passionate people-astrologers,researchers,commoners discussing about these epics.

Apart from the archaeological evidences about which most of us know( ruins have been found underwater in gujarat similar to Dwarka also verified to be around the time of mahabharata,the bridge of stones from India to Sri lanka,etc ),there are astronomical evidences too.Researchers such as Subhash Kak have been researching on Mahabharata and Vedic civilization. They dated Mahabharata to the same period and verified the astronomical references.The astronomical references Mahabharata mentions have been verified to have happened.,but some researchers feel that this verification is biased.

Again some argue that all places mentioned in Mahabharata are all identified as real places,For instance, Hastinapur is in UP. Indraprastha is the present day Delhi. Dwarka is located in Gujarat coast.But a few disagree with the Indraprastha part of the story.Some question on how anyone can create such a massively complex, detailed and vivid descriptions that are so accurate. Their argument- The hindu books in fact even give a chronology of kings extending 150 generations, and all of this cant be fiction given that a few in the lists are real.

While i was going through all this i found a really interesting comment.According to the girl these are just stories and it is very much possible to be able to imagine to such an extent because J.K Rowling has clearly done so! A few centuries from now Harry Potter might end up being an epic and there might be people who would be arguing about whether magic existed and whether people actually traveled via brooms if they failed their apparition test! All I could think then ,about the girl who wrote this was- way to go girl.It opened up an entirely new viewpoint.

I really could' nt bring myself to believe it all to be a myth blindly the way that girl did,what with so many facts proving otherwise but all the proof,arguments still could' nt exactly convince the logical part of me.Although all this research did manage to convince it that it would be unfair to rule out the possibility of its occurrence and declare it a myth,unavailability of substantial evidence was dissatisfying..So the conclusion that i have drawn is instead of mulling over the existence/non-existence of the characters and the stories maybe we should just learn all that they teach us which is – Everything! What if they turn out to be just stories? All stories are based on some facts.Maybe all of it actually happened,but not at such a large scale.Maybe ramayana or Mahabharata was a story of a small family of brothers ,sisters ,wives and neighbors exaggerated with imaginative additions and changed over centuries by oral transfer of the story.None of us know what exactly happened,but we do know the stories and the morals and the lessons they teach.We do know that our people created a masterpiece that we should be proud of!So we probably should just learn from them and try to be a better human being.The world could do with some what do you think?